I get really annoyed when people refer to the baby as the biggest thing in my life right now. Before it was when people said my wedding day would be the happiest day of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking the fact that being pregnant and starting my family is a huge deal. But it doesn’t solely define who I am. I’ve worked hard on the facets that have made me who I am… engineer, jewelry designer, bellydancer, and soon-to-be Crazy Asian Mother. Alright, maybe not so crazy, but still. My wedding day was the most expensive and exhausting day of my life. Giving birth will probably be the most painful day of my life, even with pain medication. I am very nonchalant about these things because this is the direction my life is going in and I’m simply going with the flow. Whoopie! ::insert massive sarcasm::
My favorite blogger writes a lot about pursuing a happy life vs an interesting life. Happiness maxes out after a certain income, so money has a limit to how happy it’ll make you. Happiness should not be a goal to strive for because feelings are so subjective, you end up making yourself miserable because you’re trying so hard to find happiness. How much happiness do you need? It’s not tangible enough to properly measure it. Yes, that’s my left brain talking. Check out her 4 years of research on happiness. I chose to marry Jesse because I knew I would have an interesting life with him. It will never be dull with both of our quirks combined. My obsession with having a home of my own to furnish and decorate has been with me ever since I was a child. I loved decorating and ribbon embroidery and quilting and gardening. Teenagers were obsessing over the opposite sex and going to parties while I planted flowers in the yard with my German Shepherd at my side. I learned how to cook for the family so I can guarantee that my dad will come over and ask me “what’s for dinner?” once we have a house. I’ve always been a domestic at heart. Marriage and the baby is just an extension of that.
I don’t strive to be a famous bellydancer. I don’t even want to go out and solo by myself. I dance because of the comradery I’ve found within Sashi and her troupe. Maybe someday I’ll get into the “real” troupe, but it’s not a heavily pursued goal. Someday I’ll get there and it’ll be awesome. But just being able to dance and occasionally perform is awesome enough for me. Bellydancing makes me strong, healthy, and happy. As I’ve said before, it also helps me explore the darker side of myself in an appropriate context. I find it really strange that my belly rolls and reverse camels look best on me while pregnant. Yes, even 7 months pregnant. (I will make a video of this soon)
Dare I say, even the gestational diabetes has made my pregnancy interesting. Without it, I would have been completely “la la la” about it with no morning sickness or typical pregnancy aliments until the last trimester’s random aches and pains. I’ve learned more than I’ve ever wanted about food, carbs, and blood sugar. The next challenge will be taking these lessons post-baby, whether I end up getting Type 2 Diabetes or not. At least I know life will never be boring again. Hehehe.